The other day, someone asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks:
“If you’re so sick, how can you write a blog post?”
I gave them a sad little smile. Not because I was offended, but because that question held within it so much misunderstanding — about chronic illness, about invisible pain, about what it means to keep showing up in the world when your body won’t.
The truth is, many of my days are nothing like I wish them to be. They are soft. By that, I mean fragile — slow, unpredictable, and shaped more by my body’s limitations than my own desires.
I often wake up exhausted. Not tired — exhausted. Sometimes I don’t make it out of bed until late afternoon. Sometimes the whole day slips away before I can even sit upright. But my mind? My mind is still working, still dreaming, still wanting to connect.
That is where the blog comes in.
While lying on the sofa, wrapped in blankets and silence, I often dictate my thoughts into my phone. I don’t have the strength to type, and my brain — fogged from medication and fatigue — struggles with spelling, structure, and clarity. But I have something to say. And thanks to voice-to-text and AI editing tools, I can say it. I can get it out of my system, shape it gently, and share it with you.
Some posts come out a bit jumbled. Some take a few rounds of refining. But each one is a piece of me — and putting them out into the world is deeply cathartic. Writing, even like this, is part of my healing.
Why is it healing?
Because every time I create something — no matter how small — I feel a little closer to myself. I feel like I’ve made something out of the chaos. Something true. Something that might help someone else feel seen.
The reality is, I don’t fully understand what’s going on in my body. Maybe I never will. Maybe it’s the aftermath of the life-saving medication I take. Maybe it’s a chronic condition that hasn’t been named yet — or maybe it never will be. But here’s what I do believe:
My body is trying to heal. And it needs me — not just as its inhabitant, but as its ally.
This blog is part of that alliance. It’s a space to share, reflect, and honour the ups and downs of living with illness — without shame, and without needing permission.
So, yes. I am sick. And I write blog posts. Both things can be true.
This is my healing feeling.
With love and gentleness, xxx